My Why…

Not If, But When – Your End of Life Journal

Life gets in the way… As I sit here 4 years after starting on this project, circumstances have again proven that this statement is remarkably true – for everyone! The health of myself and my husband, my business(es), and my grandchildren (not necessarily in the same order all the time) were where my focus lay.

Unfortunately, we all have a time limit. While it’s hard to think about – and most of us don’t (or ignore it) – this is the reality. Don’t put off what shouldn’t wait…

I started working on this again in January, 2020 – I couldn’t fight the urge that I needed to start it again. I got it to the prototype stage on Feb. 22. 4 days later, my husband was put under the Palliative Care system (at home with Home Care assistance). 12 days later, one of my best friends (and my children’s godfather) was diagnosed with cancer.  3 days after that, my son-in-law was killed in a motor vehicle accident. Trust me, you never know when your time is up…

This journal is perhaps the single most important thing you can (or should) do before you leave this world…

Most everyone who has reached a certain age, or has been seriously ill, will have a ‘Green Sleeve’ with their Goals of Care wishes in it. This journal (or Green Binder, if you wish) carries this on – your family will be able to access your funeral wishes; your passwords; your insurance information; your will – and so much more. This will save your loved ones not only invaluable time and perhaps money, it will also stop unnecessary wondering and worrying! There is a lot of confusion at this time.

I have laid this out so that you can do it yourself, or if it is too big of a project, we are willing to come to your home to assist you (within limits, of course!). This could prove to be an overwhelming project – maybe just bite off a bit at a time. Perhaps one file per month?

It is also laid out so that you can make changes and add to it as the years go by. You can also add sections to it if needed – there is no way this can encompass all. You may have a special needs person in your family who will require special care – that you may or may not have set up in writing; you may have a partnership with a friend or family member in business that choices will have to be made whether to carry on or to dissolve – which may or may not be in writing; you may know who you wish to raise your children when you are gone – which may or may not be in writing; you may be the owner of a family business and know who you want to take over – which may or may not be in writing. These are just some of the scenarios off the top of my head – there will be literally thousands more.

This ‘Green Binder’ (or Folder, or whatever form you decide to keep it in) should be kept on top of your fridge – just like the requirements for the Green Sleeve. This is for one main reason – emergency personnel are trained to check on top of the fridge for Green Sleeves.  If you keep both together, chances are it will make it into the right hands. 

As well – PLEASE tell someone about this journal.  Whether it is your children, or a neighbor, or a friend – someone needs to know… Tell them where it is – if it’s on top of the fridge, or in your at-home safe, or in your filing cabinet, or on your kitchen table, or beside your bed (or under your bed) – SOMEONE needs to know!

Better yet – convince your family they should prepare one as well! The aim is to make dealing with your passing or incapacitation a little less painful for your loved ones.

Your final act of love.

It doesn’t matter if:

•  you have lived a full life and are coming to the end of your journey – you may think you have told someone everything, but there might be something you have forgotten; or
• you are in your early thirties with no dependents, and don’t make it home one night; or
• you are unexpectedly dealt a harsh medical blow and your mind may not be thinking clearly when someone has to find out information that may be required; or
• you are in your mid-thirties driving home from work and get in an accident, and your family is left trying to find out the information while reeling from the shock; or
• you become incapacitated by an accident or medical condition that limits (or stops) your ability to share important information with others; or
• you think that nothing will happen to you for years…

My mission is for everyone to take the time to fill these out to save your loved ones additional stress in an already stress-filled time.

Unfortunately, no one gets out of here alive…

The Journal itself contains more information and ideas – I just needed this ‘My Why’ to be the impetus you need to get this project started. Future projects will include:

• If you have a family emergency, or fall ill – who will pick up the slack for your work? Do you have an emergency back-up plan in place? I can help you.
• Do you have a family business and need to get a succession plan in place? It’s hard facing reality – but the truth is that eventually someone other than you will be taking over. I have spoken at numerous provincial and national conferences of Family Businesses on the importance of this step – and what can happen if there is no plan in place. I can help you get started.
• Memories In A Box© – digitizing all those photos that are in a box (or lots of boxes!). Too big of a job to undertake? We can help.
• Would you like your story to be told as a legacy for your children, grandchildren, and future generations? Even if you don’t think you have ‘a story’ to tell – EVERYone has a story. Let us help you write yours.

Thank you for taking the time to read ‘my why’. I hope it spurs you and yours into taking the next step…

Here are some ideas to display in a binder, or to keep in a file box. Page protectors work well also – the important thing is to be able to add as time goes on.